On our trip to Chennai last month, M and my mother both wanted to go saree shopping. They conspired on the research and identified the store to visit. And believe it or not, they planned it for the same evening we arrive in Chennai. I softly recommended shopping at the end of the trip. My argument: “you won’t have to carry the sarees around for the entire trip” did not go far. “We will just put the sarees in the car, which will be with us the entire trip,” was the quick rebuttal.

I resigned and enthusiastically went along. … and I survived. And you will too!

Here are Ten Survival Tips!
And pics from our shopping extravaganza at Nalli’s (Nalli Chinnasami Chetty), Chennai. Apparently THE place for sarees! Don’t fret, all the cabbies know the place!

1. When your hear the first hint of going saree shopping, be enthusiastic and jump to it!
   Elephants and wives have great memories in this regard. She will remember if you try to dodge your way out. Eventually she will get her way, so might as well go along and get it over.
2. Plan! Plan! Plan! Who? What? How much?
   Talk to her and identify who the sarees are for. What event are they for? What general color (s)? This may all change once you get to the store, but get her to start thinking. It will save a lot of time and indecision later.

   In Nalli’s for eg. they have four (or five) levels of sales areas with different pricing and styles. They must have about 25 sales folks on each floor. As soon as we approach a counter, the salesman would bring out and unfurl 20 – 40 sarees in a matter of seconds. Completely overwhelming! Even her head will be spinning. My mother’s vast experience in saree shopping was apparent. She quickly honed in on a style and selected her picks within an hour. Poor M was still darting from counter to counter, and floor to floor, in a daze!




3. Get a Price Estimate!
   Then add 50 – 100 % and consider yourself lucky. You didn’t think this was going to be cheap, did ya?
4. Plan at least half a day.
   Anything less and you are only asking for a grumpy shopper. And you will have to do it all over again. Don’t try to plan any activities after the shopping. You will be exhausted!

   But you will be surprised at the energy reserves women have, when it comes to saree shopping. This same girl who wilts in 10 seconds in a camera store, can shop sarees for days!



5. Take a Pill for a Headache – before you go!
   The wide array of bright colors, and the faint aroma of new fabric will overwhelm your senses. And constantly having to make comparisons is sure to induce a migraine. Remember to take your favorite pill for headaches – before you head out.
6. Go on a Full Stomach.
   I get cranky when hungry; and it shows in my demeanour. And she will interpret it to mean you are being skittish on accompanying here and spending money. So eat well before you go.



7. Don’t say, “OMG! That much for a piece of cloth?”
   No, my friend. You will look cheap AND you will be ridiculed in front of all relatives – for evah! Remember the elephantine memory. Some things are never uttered in this temple.

   And one more thing my friend, there is no such thing as an ugly saree. At least not that we guys can tell. She may point to some as hideous, and you should simply agree!



8. Helpful phrases:
   That is a beautiful color!
   Look at the delicate embroidery!
   Yes, it is expensive, but definitely worth it for you!
   I think everyone will love this saree of yours!
   Memorize a long list of such phrases and you will be a chum.
9. Buy Lungis for yourself!
   They are cheap. I splurged on two! Not that I wear them, but at least I got something. At Nalli’s the most expensive lungi was about 125 rupees. What asymmetry! How come they don’t have Kanjeevaram silk lungis with elaborate gold “jaari?”
10. Carry a Credit Card.
    Yes! you could get a back ache carrying that much cash! And bring out the card in a flash! No hesitation here. And smile widely the entire time you see the bill and sign for it. Don’t even think of that nice D-SLR you could have purchased for that money.
11. Bonus! Be thankful the day is over.
    At the end of the extravaganza offer to carry the heavy saree bags and remember to say: “What a great day! We should do this again!” (just kidding!)

So go ahead! Smile, go saree shopping and splurge!

And what a great occasion for a family reunion! For four days we reveled in family panchadika (chit-chat), gorged on a wide variety of indian dishes (no dish was repeated over four days!) and the reception had a teeth chattering, gut expanding array of 28 desserts!

Of course, on returning to gray skies and cafeteria goop we are clinically depressed. I want my masala dosa and south indian kaapi for breakfast!

So, here are a few pics.

During one of the pre-wedding services, the women in the house are getting ready to bless the bride. The priests says: ashta putra sowbhagyavati bhava and translates it: May you be a blessed mother of eight children. My cousin sister lets out a hearty laugh!


During the actual blessing!

During the Raas garba on the night before the wedding, the couple are treated to dance performances. Then everyone joins in and the dancing went on till the early hours of the morning.

During the wedding services, the couple search for a ring in a pot of colored water! Apparently whoever finds the ring, dominates the relationship. Well, the priest had put two rings and each found one!

At the end of the service, after satisfying everyone with photographs, the bride steps out of the mantap.

Occasionally, I am overcome by fond memories of my childhood in mumbai; visiting cousins, relatives and grandparents in the rural karnataka towns of bhatkal, honavar, hosad and kumta. From what I remember, then I was busy running around, chasing dragon-flys, seeking bird eggs, stoning mangoes, or herding cows.

Now I miss my grandmother – I see her working the orchards, taking care of the household, and scribing “shri ram jaya ram jaya jaya ram” in her notebook every evening. Even when the power went out – which it did most evenings in the summer – she'd light an oil lamp and continue writing. Once more I'd like to peek up at her and see her furrowed brow, the violet bindi and reading glasses perched on her nose! Once more I'd want to be scolded by her!

I have fond memories too of days at holy name, then at elphinstone college in mumbai, and the fabulous times at manipal! Even more recently, the good times in grad school and friends we made in chicago and pittsburgh. Time flies!

Perhaps in a few years, I'd look back at today, at these times, fondly. Many years, or even decades from now, today's grind is what fond memories will be made of. So I should live today, as fondly as I would remember it! In the future then, what would I wish I had done now?

I don't attend sermons or listen to spiritual leaders of today! I find most of them very shallow, corrupt, greedy, and particularly in the US – despicable pedophiles.

I am open to inspiration from anywhere!

Every morning over coffee, I never know if and which birds will greet me with their raucous outside the window, but when they do, I listen! Even if it means I will be late, … again!

That lady “Maya-ji” who tends chappals at the Babulnath temple in mumbai – I have learned more from her than all the priests inside all the temples!

Consider my younger, cousin-brother Ramnath. He was unhampered by an urban upbringing or a convent education, and raised in rural karnataka. Unburdened by wordsworth, shakespeare or o henry. Free of einstein and vectors and field theory. He sources the best of indian fine art, and cares for his mother in kumta; and occasionally drops pearls for me to mull over. During my travel to mumbai this summer, he came up to visit. Early one morning over chai, he poured (paraphrased from konkani):

Life is like a train journey, Arun-dada, he gushed with passion. A one-way train journey! Every day speeds by you, a blurry scene outside the window; every person you meet, every interaction you have, every event that transpires – an event never to recur again! Just like those playing kids you notice from the train, as it speeds away. You will never see them again.

And we are never able to turn the train around, go back, re-meet, re-interact, re-enact. There are no do-overs! Just do! This day is soon behind us! And so we are on this train, speeding forward, until it meets death!

Enjoy the scene from the window; enjoy the HERE and NOW. Interact with everyone, as if its the last time you will. This you and this me will never meet again! This DAY is gone forever, a scene in a window of a train speeding towards destiny!

Live well! Now!

From mumbai we visited austria, and as the train sped from salzburg to vienna, M dozed off. I couldn't!

Live well!

To Surya, the Sun God as he starts his northerly trek

Grace us with Warmth and Light

tiil gool ghya, goad goad bola!

My father had his heart surgery in Nov and has recovered amazingly well. Days after his chest was flayed open to replace his aortic valve, he was up in his hospital bed solving Sudoku puzzles. My brother had made large grids and copied puzzles from the web and newspaper – a binder full. Nurses were impressed and wanted to learn too. But with tubes sticking out of him he couldn't speak much. So he had the rules taped to the front of the binder, which he would pass around.

As I had heard of this, one of the things I took for him was a Sudoku book. Soon after we arrived at my brothers in Blackpool, I gave him the book and went to sleep. A few hours later when we came down for breakfast, he surprised me:

Papa: I am nearly done with the book.
Me: You solved all the puzzles in a few hours?
Papa: No, I started on the toughest one and am making progress. What's the point of solving the remaining easy and moderate puzzles!

His logic was irrefutable. When I expressed an interest in learning, he handed me the binder with rules taped on the front. Inside were all the puzzles he had solved, including ones from a national tournament. I started with a couple of the easy ones. By the end of the week, I could take on the moderate ones. After a few years perhaps, the challenging ones.

While his mind is as sharp as ever, age seems to be taking its toll on his physical body. The skinny frame is well hidden under layers of clothing. We bought some wrist weights (3 lbs each) and I showed him a few arm exercises to help him start to build muscle and gain strength. He walks back and forth in the driveway for 30 minutes each day. I think he is going to be fine in Mumbai where the weather is moderate and he has his circle of friends on Colaba Causeway. You may spot him there solving or teaching others Sudoku. Stop and visit, you may learn something. I still am learning … and will for ever!

Thank you all for your wishes.

Note: open drains to carry heavy rain water run-off; cows resting ahead on road side.

In this God-fearing country, the parting greeting is: Dev Bare Karo! literally, May God do you good!

Notice the reddish tinged road. That comes from the red Laterite rock this entire Konkan region sits atop. In the konkan, everything is made from laterite: buildings, fence walls, bus-stop shelters, stores and even gutters draining road sides. Crushed laterite gravel is used on the shoulders of all roads. Even the dust has a reddish tinge, and so does the normally black asphalt road. After a few days in the konkan, my sense of white clothes now account for a trace of red in it

The Venkateshwara Devasthan is in the center of town. I love exploring the inside of this very old, beautiful temple. Piles of sand and gravel outside point to imminent construction – pray nothing gaudy!

After walking in the hot sun, my cousin and I decided to gate-crash this ceremony for some cool lemonade and mithai. We smiled at the girls, got doused in perfumed water and smiled our way to the back of the temple where the lemonade was still being mixed. There as we waited, the assistant picked up a block of ice sitting on the bare floor and tossed it in the giant pot (aaarrrghhhh!) !! I had no intention of getting an upset stomach at the start of my holidays. Mithai too was nowhere to be seen We walked out dejected. O yes, I did bow my head at the shrine.

Apparently a very simple recipe for these cool-drinks. Roasted Nanchane or white sesame seeds are ground with some coconut gratings, gur and water. Thats it! Ayurveda experts would swear at how it would 'cool' the body from the inside! Amen!

Note: See also 's recipe for Ragi Ladoo.

As I left home to start my studies, my mother gave me the framed photograph of Shri Ramnath, our family deity in Goa. A tulsi bead rosary is wrapped around the frame. On either side of the frame are antique figurines holding lamps. To the right is a silver 'throne' with two ganapati murthis and a lakshmi. To the left is a baby krishna crawling on both his knees and one hand; the right hand is raised.

On the lower shelf is a sandal wood murthi of Udupi Krishna in a mandap. Three silver medallions with beautifully engraved facsimiles of Venkatesha, Satya Narayana and Sudarshan – memories of the spirituality at the Balaji Temple in Pittsburgh. The round silver ball to the left has a delicately carved peacock on top, and twists open to store vermilion. Silver dabbas on each end contain vibhuti. Hanging off the frame is a Swiss cowbell, with a ring reminiscent of temples bells.

The wood stand is from the Bombay store. The rabbit-motif backdrop was left over from the previous owners and I arranged the shelves accordingly.

Below the stand is a wooden stool on which I light a small oil lamp every morning after I shower. Then I say a small prayer, thanking him 'the knower of all' for all the good that I have been blessed with, recollect the challenges of the day, and ask for her guidance. This is a time to remember my extended family residing all over this planet, and ask blessings for them and to protect them. I pray for wisdom, for us all, so we can carry out our destiny with our heads held high. And then I lower my head to the floor in namaskar.

Here are a few pictures of cousins and aunts making “Mando.” Its a simple maida atta (all purpose flour dough), rolled thin, quick fried and sprinkled with confectionary sugar. Fold when very warm and it hardens to a crisp.

I like to reach in and pick the Mando when it is still warm and starting to harden. A few slaps on the wrist are definitely worth it. Yumm!

Its been decades since I had any good mhoramba. A few weeks ago, one of my aunts asked for a recipe and that got me thinking: why not make it myself. Actually I had tried it several times in the past here in the US. The pineapples here are just too sour and if you add too much sugar, the whole thing carmelizes and you’ll need an axe to hack it.

Finally a stoke of genius – BTW, I get about a 100 of these per day Why not try it with Canned Pineapples? I put together a recipe and it worked just great. Lets just say, I don’t complain about dinner anymore – I just reach for the chapattis and mhoramba, breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even for a snack. It is not to runny and not to dense. Not too sugary – when it zings the teeth; and not too sour. Heaven! Svarga! this must be it. Since I am not a sadist, I am including a simple recipe as well. Try it and let me know what you think.

Pineapple Mhoramba:

• 1 medium can (375 -450 gms) of crushed Pineapple in its own juice (not “in syrup”).
• 1 medium can of Pineapple “chunks” in its own juice.
• Open the cans and pour out about half of the juice.
• Pour remaining in a medium non-stick saucepan (saves you the cleaning)
• Add two cups of sugar on top – don’t have to worry about mixing it.
• Simmer for about 45 minutes. You should just see some bubbling.
• Use a wooden spatula and stir if you want to feel involved and hard working. I just twirl the saucepan. Its not going to burn because the heat is on very low.
• Separately use a mortar and pestle to crush about 20 seeds of cardamon (elaichi; the seeds from about three cloves, peeled). Add to the simmering stuff.
• Add three cinnamon sticks broken in half
• About ten strands of saffron (kesar)
• A fifth of a nutmeg freshly grated straight into the pot. Be careful – some folks find this too strong.
• Let it simmer for another 45 minutes, with gentle mixing or twirling. You should see the color change to a light brown and the pineapples condensed to about half. You can let it simmer for a little bit longer if you want it a bit thicker.

That’s it! You did it!

If you made it, you get to try it out when it is still warm. If you don’t have chapattis, try it with whole wheat bread. Yumm!

I spoon it to a clean jar when it is still warm, allow to cool on the counter overnight and then cap tightly. No need to refrigerate – we always leave it in the pantry. If you are doing the cleanup, count your blessings. You get to lick the spoon clean.

By mixing the crushed and chunks of pineapple, I get a nice mix of spreadable mush and some chunks.

Any comments, or suggestions for improvements, or what to eat it with are always welcome.
Enjoy!